September
25
I haven’t opened this journal in
quite some time, about four months, to be more precise. I’ve been back in my Paris for as long as I
stayed in their US. Though time has
passed, I generally feel the same towards my time in the vast continent across
the sea: amazed, disappointed, confused, and torn.
Despite these mixed feelings, after my
return to Paris, I found it difficult to adjust back into my regular life. I missed the more carefree days of my trip, the
days with minimal commitments and new things to explore. I vividly remember how I felt as I traveled
to California, feeling separate from the earth, with nothing to tie me down to
the reality of life. The rhythmic
movement of the train and a restful sleep—even now, the image conjured in my mind
has a calming effect. Paris seems dull,
as I slowly settle back into my routine.
Some things I missed, such as my favorite café by the Musée d’Orsay, but
I almost miss the sense of exploration more, the hunger for new
experiences. I miss Chicago with its rundown,
heroin dens and its remarkable downtown.
I miss New Orleans with its incredible jazz music. I miss the unexpected, unpredictable aspect
of my journey. Yes, I was, and still am,
happy to be home, but I feel as if something is missing.
I have become more comfortable with
my “regular” life in Paris. Though it
may, at times, be less interesting, I don’t think I could live with the constant
ups and downs I would meet if I moved to the US. The moments of frustration I felt, especially
when speaking with college students who were disinterested in intellectual
matters, are not something I could live with constantly in my life. I will miss the discussion with American
authors, particularly Nelson Algren, though he has sent me a few letters since
I returned to Paris so I cannot consider myself entirely cut off from this type
of debate.
My trip to the US opened my mind;
sometimes I don’t even bolt the door to my house, inspired by the carefree actions
of N. I still am processing my adventures
these four months later, hoping one day I will be able to fully understand all
that I experienced day by day in America.
I really enjoyed reading this post from De Beauvoir's point of view and I see how it accurately captures many of her sentiments and attitudes about America. Immediately, a contrast is made between "my Paris" and "their US" highlighting just how different cities like New York and Paris were in the 1940s. De Beauvoir must have experienced quite a culture shock upon her arrival in New York City where she felt almost lost, as if she had no impact and/or place in the metropolis. However, as you point out, De Beauvoir shows more positive feelings toward other American destinations such as California and Chicago.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy how you briefly mention Algren in your entry as well because of his on and off again relationship with De Beauvoir. Furthermore, the style with which you discuss Algren mirrors De Beauvoir’s, unrevealing and rather frank. The couple had relations for many years, but America Day by Day fails to highlight any details behind that truth. It is apparent, however, that Simone has an affinity for the sketchier side of Chicago life as a result of Algren’s influence over her.
A few other points this letter surfaces that I think are worthy of discussion are the intellectuality of American college students and the idea of freedom through travel which we saw with On the Road. De Beauvoir is rather disappointed from her interactions with American college students who seemed to be disinterested in political and social matters of their respective time. Simone makes contrasts between the intellectual vitality of the American youth and the European which is something markedly interesting. Lastly, regardless of social status and/or education both Simone and the characters from On the Road contain similar views of freedom and exploration and their inherent connection to travel. I thought this letter wrapped up many of De Beauvoir’s perceptive findings about American culture quite nicely.